I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
