Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
