I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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