hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why do cheetos always look like penises
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
