remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
