everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
