Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone