its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?