Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.