i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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