if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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