when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
