I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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