i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
