Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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