Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
