I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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