I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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