I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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