She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
