i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
