I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
