Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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