naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
