Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
