guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
