Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
