No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
