Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
