this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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