i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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