I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
