im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
