why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
