well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize