So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
