I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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