I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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