good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
