honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
