you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
