You're so nebulous sometimes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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