he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
