living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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