I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
