glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
