Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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