I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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