didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
