she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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