And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
