my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
