I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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