i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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