thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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