Are we in a gay sports bar?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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