Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
