my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just found puke in my bra..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
