Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
