it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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