Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
