ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
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Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
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You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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