I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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