it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
